Missives from the GWN

I've been watching the news all morning this morning. As a Canadian who very rarely experiences hurricanes, tornados.. or really extreme weather of any kind - other than snow - I can only come to one conclusion. God Hates America. Or more specifically, Americans. Either that or this is the ending that is so well documented in Revelations and now is the time to repent. I actually prefer the latter theory. Katrina was nasty.. but this Rita thing.. she's going to be downright mean and contankerous (is that a word? and if so .. is it spelled right?) And these storms aren't satisfied to chew up a few trailer parks in Arkanasas or Alabama. These storms are angry and aiming at cities. Big cities with large populations... large populations of Americans... Why would God hate America? Well if I were God, I'd be pissed about you Americans trampling on my trademarks. "In God We Trust", "God Bless America" etc. Did you pay for the right to use his/her name thusly...

Perhaps it is too soon after Katrina to make jokes about another storm with a name. I'm not worried, I've never been one to follow social norms anyway. All that said, it has been raining all-together too much here in Canada the past few days, and reknowned forecasters the likes of Dallas Storm, Dallas Reigns and Cecilia Chu are all informing us that Ophelia is to blame. When I lived in Southern California, I eventually got used to the non-stop rain in February and March. At first I was like "Whhaaa? Albert Hammond LIED to me.. " I finally realized that song lyrics are not a verbal contract. Learned that lesson the hard way. Regardless, two months of rain for 10 months of nearly perfect sunshine and the chance of running into Pauly Shore at the AM/PM. This was a fair deal in my book. While nobody has ever written a song about it not raining in Canada, it's kind of a given. We are supposed to get a 'normal' amount of rain. Seattle gets the amount o...